Once upon a time, there was a bird. He was adorned with two perfect wings and with glossy, colorful, marvelous feathers. In short, he was a creature made to fly about freely in the sky, bringing joy to everyone who saw him.
One day, a woman saw this bird and fell in love with him. She watched his flight, her mouth wide in amazement, her heart pounding, her eyes shining with excitement. She invited the bird to fly with her, and the two traveled across the sky in perfect harmony. She admired and venerated and celebrated that bird.
But then she thought: He might want to visit far off mountains! And she was afraid, afraid that she would never feel the same way about any other bird. And she felt envy, envy for the bird's ability to fly.
And she felt alone.
And she thought: "I'm going to set a trap. The next time the bird appears, he will never leave again." The bird, who was also in love, returned the following day, fell into the trap and was put in a cage.
She looked at the bird every day. There he was, the object of her passion, and she showed him to her friends, who said: "Now you have everything you could possibly want." However, a strange transformation began to take place: now that she had the bird and no longer needed to woo him, he began to waste away and his feathers to lose their gloss; he grew ugly; and the woman no longer paid him any attention, except by feeding him and cleaning out his cage.
One day the bird died. The woman felt terribly sad and spent all her time thinking about him. But she did not remember the cage, she thought only of the day when she had seen him for the first time, flying contentedly amongst the clouds.
If she had looked more deeply into herself, she would have realized that what had thrilled her about the bird was his freedom, the energy of his wings in motion, not his physical body.
Without the bird, her life too lost all meaning, and Death came knocking at her door. "Why have you come?" she asked Death. "So that you can fly once more with him across the sky," Death replied. "If you had allowed him to come and go. you would have loved and admired him even more; alas you now need me in order to find him again."
- an excerpt from Paulo Coelho's Eleven Minutes
I simply love this short story. Period. When I read this, I knew in my heart that I had made the right decision about something that had tormented me so in the past - and that is letting go of the love of my life. If only I had a choice, I'd never leave his side. However, at the time, I felt that he wanted to fly with the other birds and to be free. I know that it wouldn't be good for him but it is his life after all and his choice. He made his choice and that didn't include me. He also did a great job of making me feel not needed anymore.
If I had listened to my emotions, I would have begged him not to leave. He couldn't be happier with the other birds as I know he would be happy and at peace with me. But then, I wouldn't be happy either knowing that the person who is with me wants to be somewhere else. And so I made the toughest and most painful decision: I left. I left because he also had left me.
They say one should fight for the one he or she loves. I did. By God, I did with all the strength I had. But what they failed to realize is that, in doing battle, one must know when to stop fighting and realize that the battle is over. I did not bother to beg anymore nor pressed him for an explanation because I wanted a dignified exit from his life. I am not someone he just picked up. I am sophisticated enough to walk away without losing my self-respect. By doing so, and not nagging him at all, I knew I gained his respect even more. I have something that the other birds won't have: class.
To possess someone because we feel we are entitled to possess their love and no one else, quickly turns love into some sort of slavery. Love should set us free. And we should also free love if time calls for it. That too is a mark of true courage. Letting go of something or someone you think you cannot bear to live without. Because if that love proved to be true, and if God wills it, perhaps one day it'll come back to you... or not. But life should continue not because they say it should. But because it does.
If we try to imprison love, cage it, seize its freedom to grow and to explore, it would die eventually. Not even respect would be left. A love that is slowly rotting away isn't a good sight. That is why I had to let go even if it almost drove me insane. Because there is no point of wasting my time looking after something that isn't mine or who does not want to be mine. And because I wanted love and the good memories to stay pure.
Sometimes, the memory of him would creep into my mind and it would break my heart all over again. What comforts me is the thought that I made the right decision. We do not know the future; if I would fall in love again with a new person, or if destiny would find a way to bring us back together, or if we would be apart forever. But I choose life and I will say "yes" to life because that's what brave people do.
Jealousy? Insecurity? They become trivial. The art of letting go and knowing we own nothing and no one, truly sets us free.
-From Leia's beautiful mind to the one I loved and perhaps still love... 06/22/12
One day, a woman saw this bird and fell in love with him. She watched his flight, her mouth wide in amazement, her heart pounding, her eyes shining with excitement. She invited the bird to fly with her, and the two traveled across the sky in perfect harmony. She admired and venerated and celebrated that bird.
But then she thought: He might want to visit far off mountains! And she was afraid, afraid that she would never feel the same way about any other bird. And she felt envy, envy for the bird's ability to fly.
And she felt alone.
And she thought: "I'm going to set a trap. The next time the bird appears, he will never leave again." The bird, who was also in love, returned the following day, fell into the trap and was put in a cage.
She looked at the bird every day. There he was, the object of her passion, and she showed him to her friends, who said: "Now you have everything you could possibly want." However, a strange transformation began to take place: now that she had the bird and no longer needed to woo him, he began to waste away and his feathers to lose their gloss; he grew ugly; and the woman no longer paid him any attention, except by feeding him and cleaning out his cage.
One day the bird died. The woman felt terribly sad and spent all her time thinking about him. But she did not remember the cage, she thought only of the day when she had seen him for the first time, flying contentedly amongst the clouds.
If she had looked more deeply into herself, she would have realized that what had thrilled her about the bird was his freedom, the energy of his wings in motion, not his physical body.
Without the bird, her life too lost all meaning, and Death came knocking at her door. "Why have you come?" she asked Death. "So that you can fly once more with him across the sky," Death replied. "If you had allowed him to come and go. you would have loved and admired him even more; alas you now need me in order to find him again."
- an excerpt from Paulo Coelho's Eleven Minutes
I simply love this short story. Period. When I read this, I knew in my heart that I had made the right decision about something that had tormented me so in the past - and that is letting go of the love of my life. If only I had a choice, I'd never leave his side. However, at the time, I felt that he wanted to fly with the other birds and to be free. I know that it wouldn't be good for him but it is his life after all and his choice. He made his choice and that didn't include me. He also did a great job of making me feel not needed anymore.
If I had listened to my emotions, I would have begged him not to leave. He couldn't be happier with the other birds as I know he would be happy and at peace with me. But then, I wouldn't be happy either knowing that the person who is with me wants to be somewhere else. And so I made the toughest and most painful decision: I left. I left because he also had left me.
They say one should fight for the one he or she loves. I did. By God, I did with all the strength I had. But what they failed to realize is that, in doing battle, one must know when to stop fighting and realize that the battle is over. I did not bother to beg anymore nor pressed him for an explanation because I wanted a dignified exit from his life. I am not someone he just picked up. I am sophisticated enough to walk away without losing my self-respect. By doing so, and not nagging him at all, I knew I gained his respect even more. I have something that the other birds won't have: class.
To possess someone because we feel we are entitled to possess their love and no one else, quickly turns love into some sort of slavery. Love should set us free. And we should also free love if time calls for it. That too is a mark of true courage. Letting go of something or someone you think you cannot bear to live without. Because if that love proved to be true, and if God wills it, perhaps one day it'll come back to you... or not. But life should continue not because they say it should. But because it does.
If we try to imprison love, cage it, seize its freedom to grow and to explore, it would die eventually. Not even respect would be left. A love that is slowly rotting away isn't a good sight. That is why I had to let go even if it almost drove me insane. Because there is no point of wasting my time looking after something that isn't mine or who does not want to be mine. And because I wanted love and the good memories to stay pure.
Sometimes, the memory of him would creep into my mind and it would break my heart all over again. What comforts me is the thought that I made the right decision. We do not know the future; if I would fall in love again with a new person, or if destiny would find a way to bring us back together, or if we would be apart forever. But I choose life and I will say "yes" to life because that's what brave people do.
Jealousy? Insecurity? They become trivial. The art of letting go and knowing we own nothing and no one, truly sets us free.
-From Leia's beautiful mind to the one I loved and perhaps still love... 06/22/12
i love that excerpt from Paulo Coelho's book... just read that book 2 weeks ago for the 3rd time hahaha
ReplyDeletejust a thought yums... sometimes we think of decency and sophistication and we emphasize that to ourselves TOO MUCH... too much that it leads us to leaving things behind and leave the door open... or... if the door is already close, for sure we are leaving monsters behind that close door...
ReplyDeletemy point is... are you sure that it's already over and done??? sometimes it's best to let him know what he left behind if that will give you peace of mind... i don't know... i'm writing this but my mind is contradicting hahaha... go figure... you're a strong, intelligent woman... i love you... don't forget that
haha maybe "he" is in danger that YOU not me will confront him in your church. hahaha i just want him to be the first one tani to make the move since he was the one who wronged me. i love you too.
ReplyDelete